Processing queue causes site to be unable to access Phplist and zencart admin areas -- as well as store

The only way I can get back into those areas of my site is if I go into the db and delete the current record from the _sendprocess file.
The trouble began after a server update. I got everything working properly except, Phplist was sending very slowly. Prior to the server change I was able to send 4100 emails in 6-7 minutes over my hosting co’s vps server (9 years – no problems sending email). After upgrade a message at the bottom of the page saying “sending in batches of 10.” Batch processing is disabled "define(‘MAILQUEUE_BATCH_SIZE’, 0). The email took 1 day 10 hours to send. When it wasn’t freezing the system.
Hosting co blamed it on a need for smtp authentication and TPR record. Did that, no change.
Really could use any suggestions to get me moving the right direction.
I was using version 3.3.1 – upgraded to 3.3.3 today and used a fresh version of config – thought it might help. No luck.
Thanks

Here’s some more info that may be helpful. When we try to send the email, phplist_eventlog returns this error:
Error sending email to xxxxxx@xxxxxxxxxx.xxx SMTP connect() failed. https://github.com/PHPMailer/PHPMailer/wiki/Troubleshooting

Here are the SMTP settings in the config file:
define(‘PHPMAILERHOST’, ‘server.mydomain.com’);

$phpmailer_smtpuser = ‘myemail@mydomain.com’;
$phpmailer_smtppassword = ‘passwordforemailacct’;

define(‘PHPMAILERPORT’,465);
host has told me port 25 is blocked – 465 is correct.

Thanks!

Ok…some more info.
Here are the results of define(‘PHPMAILER_SMTP_DEBUG’, 1);
CLIENT -> SERVER: EHLO mydomain.com
SMTP ERROR: EHLO command failed:
SMTP NOTICE: EOF caught while checking if connected
SMTP Error: Could not authenticate.
SMTP connect() failed. https://github.com/PHPMailer/PHPMailer/wiki/Troubleshooting

I can ping the server.

When I check to see if it is a mail server here is what I get:
xxxxxxxx@xxxxxxxxx:~$ telnet server.mxxxxxxxxt.com 587
Trying 144.208.73.178…
Connected to server.mxxxxxxxxt.com.
Escape character is ‘^]’.
220-server.mxxxxxxxxt.com ESMTP Exim 4.91 #1 Thu, 24 May 2018 08:54:38 -0400
220-We do not authorize the use of this system to transport unsolicited,
220 and/or bulk e-mail.
quit
221 server.mxxxxxxxxt.com closing connection
Connection closed by foreign host.
xxxxxxxxxx@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx:~$ telnet server.mxxxxxxxxt.com 465
Trying 144.208.73.178…
Connected to server.mxxxxxxxxt.com.
Escape character is ‘^]’.
^C
quit
Connection closed by foreign host.
xxxxxxxxxx@xxxxxxxxxxxxxx:~$ telnet server.mxxxxxxxxt.com 25
Trying 144.208.73.178…
We have config set to port 465.

You should use a higher value to get more detailed debug output.

Duncan,
Thank you for the response!
Here are the results of
define(‘PHPMAILER_SMTP_DEBUG’, 5);
"Connection: opening to server.xxxxxxxxxx.com:465, timeout=60, options=array ()
Connection: opened
SMTP -> get_lines(): $data is ""
SMTP -> get_lines(): $str is ""
SMTP -> get_lines(): timed-out (60 sec)
SERVER -> CLIENT:
CLIENT -> SERVER: EHLO mxxxxxxxxt.com
SMTP -> get_lines(): $data is ""
SMTP -> get_lines(): $str is "“
SERVER -> CLIENT:
SMTP ERROR: EHLO command failed:
SMTP NOTICE: EOF caught while checking if connected
Connection: closed
SMTP Error: Could not authenticate.
SMTP connect() failed. https://github.com/PHPMailer/PHPMailer/wiki/Troubleshooting

When I hit “send test” It says “waiting for www.domain.com” for 60 seconds before it does anything.

@JG64 What value do you have for the ssl/tls setting in config.php? What does the mail server require?

Duncan,
I feel like a fool!
define(“PHPMAILER_SECURE”,‘ssl’);, but it was “//” out.
I removed the"//" and it sent the test.
But why is it saying (last line below) sending in batches of 10?
I have batch processing set to "0"
It sent:
[Thu 24 May 2018 19:31] [64.121.88.112] 1250 messages sent in 203.45
seconds (22118 msgs/hr)

“Send the queue
Processing queued campaigns
Please wait, processing your request
Started
Processing has started,
One campaign to process.
Please leave this window open. phpList will process your queue until all messages have been sent. This may take a while
Report of processing will be sent by email
Processing campaign 347
Looking for subscribers
Sending in batches of 10 emails”

As usual, you’re amazing!